Hummer Guy

Some of you will know me very well, some of you will be acquainted with me and some of you won’t know me from Adam!…

Those of you who do know me well, will possibly be familiar with some of my dating stories, but for those of you who don’t know me at all, I thought I would go back to blog 1 (Hello), and elaborate somewhat on the ‘guys’ … its all about The Hummer Guy.

Well what can I say, other than I was mortified.   He pulled into my little tiny street and stopped right outside the front of my house….black, shiny and with lots of ‘bling lights’.

It caused quite a stir……none more so than with the teenage boy next door and his group of friends who were ‘pre-drinking’ on the pavement outside.  Jaws dropped, cans mid-tilt and shocked silence ensued.

Numb with fear, I thought about the best way I could deal with this….should I casually and confidently walk out of my front door, smile and say ‘hello boys’ and then saunter over to my ride……yes that’s exactly what I will do, I thought….

……..what I actually did was…..scurry out of my front door, head turned firmly to the right (the boys were to my left), ran across to the ‘vehicle’…..and frantically tried to get in…..the driver’s side!!

…….’the  o-t-h-e-r  side’….was mouthed to me by my slightly amused date!  I quickly ran around to the passenger side, amidst an ever increasing sound of hysterical teenage boys’ laughter and clambered upwards and inwards……..not an easy feat when you’re only 5’2″ and wearing heels !!

We decided to go to a local pub not too far away…..’where on earth is he going to park this thing’ was all that was on my mind.

‘I’ve driven from Scarborough’ he told me….’had to fill up three times’

He did manage to park up and just as we were about to disembark the vehicle, I was offered a wet wipe to ‘clean your hands’……he must have seen the bemusement on my face as he continued to tell me that he had hand cleanliness OCD!…..’had it all my life’…….he said.

Now at this point, I became totally preoccupied with trying to come up with ways ‘to escape’ and get home as fast as I could……’would you like to eat’ he asked…..I had a quick flash of him frantically cleaning his hands with copious amounts of wet wipes ……’no thanks, I’ve already eaten’.

We got a drink and sat down.  We did chat (can’t remember what about)……I was still thinking of ways to make my excuses and leave……

At last drink finished…..’would you like another one?’……I thought it best to be totally honest…’no thanks, I think I would like to go home now’….

he was clearly shocked….’Really?’……..

At this point I did think about staying for one more, was I being too hasty?  Should I give him more of a chance?…….then two more wet wipes later……

‘yes really, very sorry but I don’t think this is working for me, I’m sure you agree?’..

He did seem to accept it in good spirit and we headed out to the Hummer.  Unfortunately by this time, a small crowd had formed around the huge eyesore!  Clearly he relished this…… thoughts….’hope to God nobody recognises me’.

‘Do you fancy a run to Redcar?’ he asked, when we had finally managed to fight our way through the crowd and climb in (Jeez, you’d think they’d never seen a Hummer before!)

‘No thank you, I would just like to go home please’…..

‘thought you might fancy a run to see the new pier?’

‘No thank you, I would just like to go home please’….

Finally, a further two more wet wipes later, he started the engine and drove me home.  

At last home, showered and in my PJ’s……then ping….it was a text from The Hummer Guy…

‘Thanks for a lovely evening, but can I just say, I think you need to lighten up a bit’

……..maybe he ‘s right…..but God I was glad to be home!

Well just finished blogging (love that word) and ‘ping ping’… eldest son..

‘is there any meat in this wrap Mum?’












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